How does the Bible portray a mother and a wife? How should we, as Christian women and wives portray ourselves in our home and to our children and husband? Motherhood is said to be the hardest most rewarding job. I’m here to attest to this statement. I wouldn’t trade even our hardest days because they help us grow and see God’s grace when given those beautiful days with our families, which are definitely more plentiful than the hard days. On those hard days, if you find yourself searching for biblical answers and ways to cope, then I hope you find this post encouraging, because you are not alone. Here are 5 characteristics or traits that I believe make up a Godly mother to help us grow in our motherhood role and closer to Jesus!
Hello! Welcome to Little Life of Smith’s. I’m Brandi, momma to four beautiful girls and wife to Patrick. You can check out more about me and my family here. My husband and I both want Jesus to be our focus when raising our babies. We know that if we teach them the Bible and draw the near the Lord then hopefully we are instilling the proper morals needed and equipping them with the essential tools needed to lead a Jesus-centered life.
One of my deepest hopes and desires is that I am a good, caring mother that my girls look up to and hopefully want to take on some of these traits one day in their motherhood journey.
We live in a society now that promotes women in the workforce and not in the home. In all honesty, more times than not, a couple relies on both the husband and wife’s income in order to make ends meet. I’m not saying that women in the workforce is a bad thing, I used to be one and I grew up where my mom worked and was still a very attentive mother. It takes so much energy, devotion, love and attention from those work mamas and I tip my hat to them! This post is not meant to be anything negative to the working mamas.
With all of that being said, society places more of an emphasis on getting through school, going to college and entering the workforce. It looks down on that of staying home, growing the homestead, and raising/educating the babies. But what does the Bible say about our role as women? My desire is to live up to His calling, not my own or what society deems appropriate. If we want to raise our babies to know Jesus and their own roles, then we need to know our own role as well.
What Exactly Does the Bible Say about Motherhood?
I have recently tried to dig into this deeper as I’m getting deeper in my motherhood role. I’m not as fresh as I once was a a first time mom now that my girls are growing quickly and more littles have joined our family. Time passes exponentially fast when you watch your babies grow.
I have not always been raised in church, but was in and out of church in different seasons of my childhood and taught to believe in the Lord at a young age. I was baptized young and always knew I wanted to grow in my faith. When I met my husband, he had always grown up in the church. Throughout our marriage and parenthood journey, we have grown together as a couple in faith.
The more I grow in my own faith, the more I want to grow in my role of motherhood. God’s word is abundantly full on this topic. All throughout scripture you can see and read about characteristics that the children of God should exhibit.
God created women and women were meant to be mothers. Motherhood was always God’s purpose and calling for women. Women by nature are more nurturing, empathetic and affectionate. There are stories in the Bible of women who couldn’t conceive and when those women walked with the Lord, God made the impossible, possible.
Now there is always the thought of the mama who wants to be a mama and struggles to get pregnant. Yes, of course there are some reasons, only God will know why some women cannot bear children, but I also believe society has some blame for this as well in our pharmaceuticals, diet, and way of life. Some call this conspiracy, but that’s another topic for another post. Motherhood comes in many ways to some. Through foster, the adoptive mother, older women who lead younger women, a teacher who nurtures a class of students, and I’m sure other situations I’m leaving out. Motherhood is more than birthing a child.
A great verse in scripture that talks of the woman’s role is this:
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Titus 2: 3-5
What Should a Grace-Filled, Godly Mother Look Like?
Now you may all be thinking that I’m going to tell you that you need to grab your floor length dresses to wear everyday. That is great for some and maybe not others. In my opinion, I believe character should define what a Godly mother looks like though, not always her choice of clothing. Her character will keep her a modest mama whether that be in a dress or leggings and a hoodie ☺️.
A Godly mother is not going to be known for her appearance, but instead by the characteristics she possesses.
These 5 Characteristics are what I believe help make up a Godly mother and woman. Please don’t use this as a checklist. As we watch our children make mistakes that we help them to correct and forgive them for, we are still God’s children and will understandably not be perfect and make mistakes. These are characteristics to strive for, while many times we will fall short. You are a great Godly mother not for checking off this list, but apologizing when you fall short and rising another day that God blessed you with, in order to try again. Remember, God chose your for this exact time to mother these babies. Your role is crucial and important, even if you don’t see it everyday.
A Godly mother knows she will rely upon God’s grace, help and wisdom. When we attempt to walk the road of motherhood without God near, we will fall short of meeting our family’s needs. However, when we choose to walk the road of motherhood with the Lord God as our guide, our teacher, we can lay a firm foundation in which our children can learn to love Jesus and set them on their path in life. When you lean into the Lord, you discover your purpose and he guides you in becoming the best version of yourself.
5 Ways to Be a Godly Mother
1. A Godly Mother is Biblically Grounded
As I stated earlier, motherhood is the hardest, most rewarding journey. It comes with a rollercoaster of emotions and decisions. You find yourself repeating statements you never dreamt would leave your mouth, being the referee between sibling disputes, crying through the hard days, crying tears of joy, fear, and excitement through pregnancy and more. Motherhood has the highs, lows and all of the hills in-between.
In all of the ups and downs, it can be easy to lose sight of what is really important. What and who you are trying to center your parenting around. Every mother and father needs an anchor. Your spouse is an excellent source to help hold you each accountable. You need something to hold you steady and in place no matter how high the tide gets. A map that guides you in the right direction.
That guide, your anchor that always keeps you steady and in place is our Bible.
The Bible is more than a simple book. It is The Word of God. The Bible is filled with stories of wisdom, hope, encouragement, promise and good news.
A Godly mother is rooted firmly in the word of God. When the day is hard or she reaches for what is considered another mundane daily task with a struggle, she echos a well-loved Bible verse to herself. These Bible verses are God’s affirmations, our affirmations.
It is easy to feel lost and insecure in today’s society. We have cultural wars starting and so many factors set out to influence our children in ways that are not Biblical. When these times become overwhelming, The Godly mother drops to her knees and prays. She prays to the Lord over her family and they may see the light in the darkness. She prays that she is leading her children in teaching the biblical standards. She prays that she can continue to be the anchor for her family rooted firmly into the word of God.
It doesn’t just have to be the stress of the world on your family to go to the Lord in prayer. I find this to be soothing. When I’m having a tantrum from my three year old because she can put her shoes on by herself, even though we are late and need to get out the door. Or maybe the baby won’t take her nap but is so tired, and just wants to contact nap with mama as the laundry and dishes pile up. I make it a point to take a breath and say a little prayer. I’m reminded that my babies are curious and want to become independent and learn the world around them. My sweet babe that wants to contact nap, won’t always be a little babe and my laundry and dishes will always be there ready for me. Take the time with your littles, and show them the grace that our God has been so gracious to show us.
Here are a few of my favorite Biblical readings for mama’s outside of my Bible.
Daily Strength for Couples a 365 Day Devotional
2. A Godly Mother is a Teacher and Leads by Example
What exactly should a mother teacher her children?
How to read? Math? Science?
Recently there has been a major push in homeschool education. I am a very big advocate for homeschool education. We chose to homeschool our girls and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, even after working as a public school teacher for seven years before staying home with my girls.
As mamas, we are called to teach our children. Absolutely! But along with reading, writing, math, we are called to teach them about Jesus. Teaching them about Jesus is the most important concept we can instill in them.
Our children are growing up in a society where they will face many obstacles and have to make decisions that will sometimes leave them leading their own path because it doesn’t follow societal norms, THAT’S OKAY 👍 ! Give your children the courage and the confidence that they are not alone. They have their family and above all else Jesus.
Breaking down the Bible and teaching it to your littles can seem daunting at times, at least I know it is for me because as an adult, I am still reading and learning the Bible. We recently started the Bible Recap Kids’ Devotional and are already enjoying it! It is a yearly guide to follow. It tells you what books and chapters of the Bible to read each day and an activity to do along with it. It’s designed to get through in a year, but we are going at our own pace and works perfect!
Godly mamas lead by example. This is a great way to “teach” your children as well. Our children are always watching what we do more so than they will listen to what we say.
My girls are great at pointing out if I say a curse word and it being a “bad word”. They like to question why I say it and they cannot. I’m quick to remind myself and them that I sin too and should not be saying words like that. If we want our daughters to be proud of themselves and have confidence, we need to have confidence in ourselves. The examples we set for our children, good or bad, will be passed down to our children and even generations to come.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train children in the way they should go; when they grow old, they won’t depart from it.” Proverbs 1:8-9 “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction; don’t neglect your mother’s teaching; for they are a graceful wreath on your head, and beads for your neck.”
3. A Godly Mother is Patient and Practices Self-Control
At some point in your motherhood journey you are going to have a toddler drop to the ground and perform the best tantrum at the most inopportune time with an audience of people likely judging your parenting. Mama’s, we have all been there and I know as embarrassing as it is at the time, I promise these years will go by quick and this will just be another phase and opportunities for you to teach your child skills to help handle their emotions.
I know as an adult, I am still practicing self-control and patience. These are learned skills. It can be difficult when you just cleaned up the house and turn around to see your toddler pulling all of the toys out you just picked up. Maybe you asked your child to pick their shoes up and put away three times already to walk over them again. These are all learning skills for you and your child. It is important to practice self-control and patience with your children so that they can learn to acquire these skills as well.
I thought I was patient before having children and there are times now that I have to go take a deep breath, take a step back and try again. One of my daughters has very big emotions. She feels everything BIG. When she is happy, she is so happy but the same goes for when she is upset. It takes a lot of talking with her and teaching her to calm down. Having patience and waiting her turn because we can’t always have what we want right when we want it. Self-Control and Patience are skills that have to be learned and modeling them for our children are the best ways to teach them. When we model the skills, we are teaching them the importance of the skills and helping them learn to navigate these big emotions they sometimes feel.
4. A Godly Mother is Loving, Gentle, and Quick to Forgive
Our children are going to make mistakes. That is a given. We as parents are going to make mistakes. This is also a given. We are human. I always tell my girls that the goal is to learn from our mistakes and make better choices the next time.
Love is such a powerful emotion. Most look at the emotion of love as happy and joyful, which it absolutely is about these, but love is also about showing up when you are exhausted or think you have no more left to give. You are able to show your love in your actions day in and day out.
Love is what drives us to teach, pray, discipline, encourage, and guide our children.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Sometimes as a mother, we take on a lot of stress. We are in charge of maintaining the home, keeping it clean, educating our children, meal times, shopping to keep the house stocked, chauffeuring our kids to sporting events, and I’m sure more jobs that I’m leaving out. Sometimes this can shorten our patience and cause our words to come out harsh or take our own problems out on our babies.
Gentleness can go a long way.
When you are gentle with your child, you are talking to their heart and not just trying to get them to obey in the moment which can lead to more defiance. No hateful words are spoken that we would need to later apologize for. When it comes to talking with our husband and children, it is better to use gentleness to approach the situation.
As mothers, we need to show our children love and comfort. They grow with us and as babies we are their safe place. It’s where they feel calm, protected and secure. My goal as their mama is to always be my kiddo’s safe place. When they get hurt, have a bad dream, encounter their first broken heart, need advice, I want my kids to know that I show them unwavering love and can always be their safe place to come to.
We know mistakes are inevitable as our children grow and learn to navigate each phase of their childhood and adulthood. Mistakes are also inevitable through motherhood and parenthood with your spouse. A godly mother must be quick to forgive.
We have been given the greatest gift of all through Jesus and that was the gift of forgiveness of our sins in exchange for eternal life. Let us be quick to extent this forgiveness to others and model forgiveness for our children to learn.
We must forgive our children, our husbands, our family, our friends and anyone who may have wronged us. Holding the grudge only harbor negativity in your life.
“Therefore, as God’s chose people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12
5. A Godly Mother is Selfless and Hard Working
I mentioned at the start of my post that I once used to be a mama who worked outside of the home. We made the move for me to stay home with our girls after our second daughter was born. I wear the SAHM tile proudly even though society places a stigma on that not actually being a “job”. I tell myself everyday that I am replaceable in every area of my life except for motherhood. I will never get the days back with my girls.
I take so much pride knowing that I am the one educating them and teaching them the word of Jesus. It can be stressful to take on so much responsibility, but I am grateful that it is me who is shaping their minds with content that my husband and I find to be most important, the Bible.
Society places a stigma on the SAHM role like you have so much free time to sit around, watch television, nap when the babies are napping and have an easy relaxing day. I took on more responsibility when I stayed home I feel like than when I was in the workforce. As mama’s we are selfless and give all we have to our family. We get up early, stay up late, and pour ourselves into the work that is needed in order to provide our family with the best.
I take so much pride in my role at home. Since staying home, I taught myself to sew and love that I make most of my girls’ wardrobes. I taught myself how to bake sourdough bread, find healthy snack alternatives and make at home cooked meals, homeschool our girls, help run our family business, and so much more.
It is truly a blessing to know that I am providing the best of the best and keeping my family healthy. I love that even on those difficult or somewhat stressful days, I know my job was meaningful.
We live in a society that says, “Put you first, no matter what.” This is really a selfish way to look at life and the moment you become pregnant and start motherhood, there is not much room for this mentality. That precious gift from God inside your womb starts running the show.
When your sweet newborn wants to cluster feed all night long, you cluster feed all night long. When your toddler needs you to lay with them to fall asleep, you put aside you tasks and snuggle those sweet babies, when your child is still hungry and wants more of your snack, you give up your snack.
Selflessness is such a giving part of motherhood, but knowing that I am giving for my children in small way the way Jesus gave for us in such a large way is a good feeling.
Becoming a Godly Mother
There is not a perfect Godly mother. We are all imperfectly perfect doing our best for our children and husband.
The good news, God does not ask for perfection. We are blessed with the ability to try, make mistakes, go to the Lord for guidance and try again. As I teach my children more about the word, I am also learning so much and growing deeper in my faith. Take the journey together.
Put your faith in Jesus whole-heartedly, read the Bible, and learn alongside your children. He has called you to be a mother at the perfect time and he is making us Godly mothers one day at a time.
You are going to have days where you feel like super mom doing all the fun activities, maintaining a clean house with laundry and dishes caught up, three healthy meals a day and everything planned for school accomplished. Then yo will have the days where you are just trying to survive. Maybe the kiddo got a bowl of fruit for breakfast and a frozen pizza for dinner. The house is a wreck and laundry is overflowing. That’s okay. Sit down in the middle of it all, give yourself some grace and maybe grab a book to read with your littles. Take a breath. Everything will fall into place as needed. It’s important to remember we are not perfect, but our children show us the same love on our good days and our bad days just for showing up for them. ❤️
I hope you find encouragement with this post! Happy Mothering!
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